Kicking Through Fear

Fear can stop us in our tracks or propel us into our future. Fear can trap us with negative energies from the past. It can also be the impetus to drive us into our destiny. Fear is imagining something that hasn’t happened yet. This overactive imagination results in uneasiness, anxiety, and worry that comes from the unknown.

In the northern hemisphere, March is the month of the spring equinox which means equality of night and day. Spring reminds me of moving into a new state of being. We are waking up and emerging into light after the dark of winter. At the equinox, there is a balance of dark and light. We need to be in the dark to know the light. Sometimes we want to stay in the dark, so we don’t have to face our new future.

I have been at the crossroad of fear at different times in my life. I grew up in the energy of fear. My mother was a strong, take charge person, and did not look like a fearful person. But underneath she had many fears, especially of being alone. Growing up in this loving home I was very fortunate to have had no actual physical experiences of fear. Yet in my early adult years, I still sensed and carried my mother’s fear.

Many years ago, I was at the crossroads of encountering my intense fear. There was a woman raped and badly beaten a few blocks from where I lived with my young family. My fear was no longer underneath but rose to the surface with a vengeance. I stayed in my fear for several days not wanting to even leave my house. I felt powerless. I knew this was not how I wanted to live. It was time for me to move my fears into the light. It was time to balance my dark fears with the light of confidence.

An inner voice message came to me. I need to take karate to learn how to defend myself. I was the least likely person to study karate. I had never been in a physical fight and was not active in sports. I knew nothing about martial arts. I truly felt propelled into my new fearless future. I found my first karate teacher and learned many new things about myself. I started to see myself as strong and powerful. First in my inner being, then in my physical body. I learned how to use my energy and become aware of my environment. I learned how to kick through boards and break bricks and how to fight. Once I learned how to fight, I also learned that I didn’t have to fight to be confident and powerful.

It took me seven years to earn my black belt in karate. Now if the dark of fear comes into my life, I remember that I can balance it with my light of confidence. Spring is a new Adventure of love and light!

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